


Dormant

by msraven



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Getting Back Together, Lack of Communication, M/M, Temporary Amnesia, courting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-01-06 10:42:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1105836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msraven/pseuds/msraven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil officially comes back to life and learns that the holes in his memory are much more damaging than the healed one on his chest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dormant

It never fails to surprise Phil that, despite the more primitive aspects of their biology being nearly dormant for centuries, it always chooses the most inopportune moments to make itself known. For instance, Phil knows that the last people who had been in this room with Fury included an alpha, two betas, a bonded omega, and an unbonded omega. The information itself isn't surprising – every SHIELD agent is trained in the basics of pheromone identification. What's surprising is Phil's reaction to the familiar scent of the unbonded omega. His gut clenches with a stab of longing and he nearly staggers with the strength of his instinctual drive to find, mount, and claim.

"You okay Coulson?" Fury asks with concern lacing his voice. The director's hand is already reaching for the phone when Phil holds a hand up to stop him.

"I'm fine," he reassures his friend. "You've told them?"

"Yes, as we agreed."

"The Avengers were just here? What were their reactions?"

Fury frowns in confusion as he answers. "About what we expected. You were right about their being more understanding now that they've gelled as a team."

"Barton and Romanov?"

"They backed me up. Again, like we expected. You going to tell me what this is about?"

"I don't know yet," Phil responds honestly. He can't explain why his body is reacting this way to Barton's lingering scent. Phil knows Natasha and Clint's scents as well as his own – a product of years working together and watching out for one another – but the intensity of this possessive need is something Phil has never experienced before. Then again, it's not the first time since he's woken that Phil's body has reacted in ways his mind is unprepared for. Phil curses the gaping holes in his memory that still remain nearly a year after his most recent brush with death.

"I don't know yet," Phil repeats, giving Fury a reassuring smile, "but I'm sure I'll know soon enough."

Barton isn't shy, Phil reasons internally. If something happened between them, Clint will come to speak with Phil sooner rather than later now that he knows that Phil is alive. Phil can only hope that the extended belief of his demise by Loki has not caused any irreparable damage to their relationship, whatever it may be now. 

Phil should know after all these year that Clint rarely does what's expected of him. Every Avenger _but_ Clint comes to see Phil over the next few days while the Bus is undergoing routine maintenance. They all seem to need some reaffirmation that Fury or the WSC hadn't been holding him against his will and that he was happy with his new assignment. Phil assures each of them that he's operating under his own will and waits for the final visit that never comes. 

His team ends up back in New York several times over the next few months – the city tends to attract the strange and his new little troop seems intent on causing repeated, if minimal, damage to the Bus whenever possible. Phil's relationship with the Avengers slowly becomes less strained and yet Clint continues to keep his distance. 

It's not that Clint is acting hostile or bitter, far from it. He's respectful and friendly, their interactions no different than what Phil remembers, except that Clint makes sure he's never alone with Phil and never initiates any conversations that aren't related to SHIELD or the Avengers. Clint even gives Phil a WWII-era military compass for Christmas. The gift is perfect and thoughtful, but it's delivered along with a pile of others from HQ with no card or personalized message, just a tag with Clint's name on it. Phil has re-read every mission report for the two years leading up to Loki and the Battle of Manhattan and nothing has stirred his memory and nothing explains Clint's change in demeanor. 

Phil is frustrated and nearing the end of his usually vast patience, when fate intervenes and the Avengers step into the SHIELD New Year's Eve party. Phil's body recognizes Clint's scent a few moments before Simmons squeals happily and rushes over to greet him. He watches as Clint's eyes dart around the room, cataloging the agents who've tensed at his arrival, before his face relaxes into an open, easy grin as he catches the young scientist in his arms. 

"You came!" Jemma gushes as they hug each other tightly. Jealousy sinks heavily in Phil's stomach, curdling like sour milk and causing it to roil in protest. 

"How could I resist an invitation from my favorite field agent?" Clint winks and wraps an arm around Jemma's shoulders so he can introduce her to the other Avengers.

"I didn't realize they knew each other," Melinda says from Phil's side.

Phil tracks Clint's movements as he finishes introductions to the Avengers and walks around the room with Jemma on his arm. "Barton was her combat fighting trainer."

"What?!" May's voice is filled with surprise and a little accusation. "I thought she wasn't cleared for field combat?"

"She doesn't like guns," Phil explains.

May hums thoughtfully. "Remind me to spar with her when we get back on the Bus."

That comment is enough for Phil take his eyes off Clint and raise an inquisitive eyebrow at the other agent. 

"Last time I sparred with one of Barton's trainees, I got my ass handed to me. Nobody gets through combat training with one of our best without learning how to keep me on my toes. Plus it'd be fun to get Ward to watch," Melinda smirks. 

"You're a little evil, you know that?"

She shrugs and then juts her chin across the room. "Speaking of which, looks like you're not the only Avenger fanboy in the room."

Phil turns his head to where Jemma has dragged Clint to meet the rest of the team. Fitz is openly gaping, Skye is grinning like a cat who's found a particularly nice bowl of cream, and Ward looks to be, for lack of a better word, gushing at Clint. The beta is gripping Clint's hand in both of his and it looks completely innocent – and a little awkward – until Ward slips one hand higher onto Clint's bare forearm in a clear sign of interest. The alpha inside Phil growls possessively, but Clint pulls his hand away smoothly before Phil can step forward. When Clint excuses himself from the small group a minute later, heading towards the bar, Phil moves to intercept him, only to be blocked by Steve suddenly appearing in his path.

"Agent Coulson!" Steve says as Phil tries to keep an eye on Clint over the omega's shoulder. "I hope you don't mind our crashing your party and I know it's a holiday, but I was hoping you could go over those intake requirements with me again."

Phil's eyes snap up to meet Steve's and the last of his patience snaps. There is no doubt in his mind that the Avengers have been colluding to keep Clint away from him. Phil doesn't bother keeping the near-growl out of his voice when he speaks.

"Captain Rogers. While I am willing to give you the benefit of the doubt that you are only trying to protect one of your own, do not ever presume that I appreciate your meddling in my personal life. There has clearly been a misunderstanding and your interference has only extended it. I can only guarantee you that I have never purposely hurt or harmed Clint and hope that you have enough respect for me to take me at my word. Now…" Phil takes a step and finally lets the full growl surface. "Get. Out. Of. My. Way."

Steve steps to the side and Phil brushes by him, heading straight to where Clint is leaning on the bar waiting for his drink. He can see several other Avengers closing in as he comes to a stop at Clint's elbow.

"It appears we need to talk."

"Uh… yeah, sure. It's probably past–" Clint stops and looks behind him, frowning when he sees his teammates. He rolls his eyes fondly and sends a subtle signal to Natasha before turning back and motioning towards the door. "Let's go out in the hall."

Alone with Clint in the hallway, his scent nearly undoes Phil, more so when we sees Clint's nostrils flare and his eyes dilate in response. They sway towards each other before Phil gets a hold of himself, struggling with reactions that are far from dormant, and takes a step back. Something unreadable flashes in Clint's eyes and he too steps back. 

"Yeah, sorry," he apologizes and looks away with a sigh. When he looks back at Phil, it's with that same carefully friendly look he's adopted around Phil lately. "I... Look, I'm sorry – about me and then them. I've got it under control, which is what I keep telling them, but they've been over protective after what's happened with the other... uh... doesn't matter. Anyway, I'll make sure they understand to back off. There's no reason we can't go back to the way things were before, right?"

"Wrong," Phil says through clenched teeth. That Phil has somehow been lumped in with the other agents who've made Clint's life difficult since Loki's control makes him want to punch a hole through the wall in frustration. He'd agreed with Fury's recommendation to keep the after effects of his recovery classified, but it's more important not to lose Clint. 

Clint's eyes go wide at Phil's response and he recoils a bit. "I said I was okay with it. I get that people can do things in the heat of the–" Clint winces and starts again, "I understand that we all do things we regret later and I promise I don't hold it against you or expect anything from you."

"Clint, stop," Phil says with a shake of his head before the omega can continue. "I think there's something you need to know. It's been classified until now, but–"

"Clint!" Natasha interrupts suddenly, poking her head out into the hallway. "Sorry, but we're assembling."

She slips back into the room and Clint immediately moves to follow. Phil grabs his hand. 

"Be careful out there. We'll talk after."

Clint looks at Phil in surprise, but he nods before walking away. Clint's fingers slide over the skin of Phil's palm and the sensation makes Phil's breath hitch as a flood of memories wash over him.

~

_Clint's calloused fingers grip at Phil's shoulders and urge him closer, deeper, and Phil obliges, sliding fully into Clint and feeling his knot begin to swell. He braces himself over Clint and watches as the omega arches underneath him, letting out a sinful moan and baring the long column of his throat. Despite what their biology dictates, Phil prefers this over mounting, needing to see his omega, his mate, writhing beneath him with pleasure. Phil bends to lick along Clint's neck, letting the taste and scent of the omega's heat overwhelm him as they begin to move._

_Phil lets his cock slide slowly out of Clint's slick hole, before sinking back in with more force as Clint's hips rise up to meet him. Clint's body yields beautifully to Phil's growing knot and they come together again and again in perfect tandem even as their movements grow more erratic. Phil is too far gone to be gentle as he pushes his knot inside Clint a final time and it swells to full size as Phil spills inside the omega, triggering Clint's own orgasm. Clint splashes hot against Phil's belly, his fingers clutching at Phil hard enough to bruise, and his hole contracts and convulses around Phil's cock, triggering another pulse of semen as their combined climaxes continues for far longer than either of them have experienced before._

~

The memory stops abruptly and Phil has to brace a hand against the wall as it subsides. He at least has part of the puzzle now and it leaves him shaky and disoriented as he walks back into the room. Thankfully, everyone's attention is focused on the large screen along one wall that is displaying a feed of the battle taking place a few blocks away.

Phil watches as the Avengers run out onto the street, working as the well coordinated team they've now become. Stark grabs Rogers and flies him closer to the cluster of robots causing havoc and Thor wraps an arm around Natasha's waist to do the same. That leaves Clint still on the street and sliding his quiver onto his back as Bruce transforms beside him. Hawkeye yells something and holds an arm out to the Hulk, neither of them breaking stride. Phil holds his breath even though he's seen them perform this maneuver a few times on old video footage. Hulk wraps a large arm around Hawkeye's midsection, takes two bounding leaps, and then hurls his teammate into the air. Clint flies in a controlled arc before deploying his grappling arrow, slowing his descent to land gracefully on top of a nearby building. There are several awed gasps in the room and Phil has to agree when he hears Jemma mutter, "I despise it when they do that."

The battle is short. A swarm of robots sent out by a crazy scientist feeling bitter over the holiday is fairly routine for the Avengers by now. Phil feels an irrational swell of alpha pride when it's Clint who works out which robot is controlling the others and destroys it with precisely placed broadhead, disabling it without destroying it. The Avengers walk back into the party, looking as though they've spent the past hour on a beer run and not preventing useless destruction of city property. Clint is, unsurprisingly, not among them.

Natasha walks straight toward Phil without betraying her own opinion of recent events. "He went back to the Tower. I'll make sure the others stay away. You get one chance."

Phil strides quickly out of the room, knowing that Natasha is not one to level threats lightly. He gets one opportunity to fix what he hadn't realized he'd broken before Natasha and the Avengers close ranks around Clint for good. JARVIS lets Phil into the Tower and up to Clint's floor without any protests, leaving Phil to assume that all of the Avengers have given their tacit approval for this one chance to make amends. He takes a steadying breath and knocks on the door.

"You can't be serious!" Clint yells through the door. "I told you I was fine. I'm not gonna freak out just because Coulson touched–"

Clint's voice cuts off as he opens the door and sees Phil. Whatever calm, rational discussion Phil had planned flies out of his head at the sight of a shirtless Clint and the dizzying rush of his scent that floods out of his room. Anger, sudden and bright, flares inside him and Phil pushes his way past Clint and into the room. The door clicks shut and Phil whirls on Clint, who belatedly shrugs on the t-shirt he'd been holding. 

"I'd like to understand what I've ever done to make you believe that I would toss you aside like our mating meant nothing to me?!"

Clint flinches and looks away. "It happens. People regret stuff like that all the time. I get that sometimes the chase is better than what you catch."

"What the fuck is this? You're not some insecure, wilting flower, Clint. Tell me what this is about."

"Going through a traumatic event often leaves a lasting mental, as well as physical, impact. It's not unheard of for people to re-evaluate their lives and the choices they've made."

"That sounds like Psych. Who the _hell_ have you been talking to?" Phil asks. "I want names so I can I get their asses fired."

Clint's mouth quirks into a grin as he finally looks up at Phil. "Damn, I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too," Phil replies, his anger fading and leaving him feeling tired beyond his years. "Can we sit down and talk about this? There's something about my recovery that you need to know."

They move to sit on the couch and Phil is relieved when Clint chooses to sit beside him instead of across from him, his brow furrowed in concern.

"Phil? Talk to me," Clint requests and reaches out to take Phil's hand.

~

_Phil drops the washcloth off the side of the bed and gathers Clint into his arms. He strokes his fingers through the omega's hair, feeling content and happy._

_"God, that was…" Clint sighs. "I guess that's one way our biology ensured procreation. That was pretty intense. I don't think I've ever felt that good in my life."_

_Phil shifts until he's looking down at Clint, his hand unconsciously landing on the omega's trim belly. "Do you think there's a chance we…?"_

_"Oh," Clint says and blinks at him before letting his hand rest lightly over Phil's. "I have a contraceptive implant, remember?"_

_"Right, yeah. I knew that."_

_Clint's hand tightens over his, keeping Phil from pulling away. "Would you… want something like that… with me?"_

_Phil opens his mouth to answer at the same moment as their comms spring to life and klaxons start blaring through the compound._

~

"Phil?" Clint prods. "What is it?"

Phil turns his hand and intertwines their fingers. "I have huge, gaping holes in my memory since I recovered, mostly from the past few years. I remember New Mexico, but only bits and pieces after, until I woke up again. Mission reports help, but not always."

"Oh."

"Yes, _oh._ I'm starting to remember what happened between us at Pegasus, but I have a feeling the important parts are what came before. Will you tell me?"

"We'd, uh… been spending a lot of time together since New Mexico, in between ops. Sort of dating, I guess?"

"Courting," Phil corrects with a laugh. He can't believe he finally manned up and made a move, yet no longer remembers doing it. "I know it sounds a little old fashioned, but it's something I'd always dreamed of doing someday. To court you properly."

It's a throwback to older days when their society began separating more and more from their biology. Courting was how an alpha let an omega know his full intentions – not just a casual affair, but a long-term mating and possibly a bond. Courtings started small and then grew depending on the omega's receptiveness, with small offerings of food and other things intended to show the omega that the alpha is capable of providing for them. Most of the offerings given now are primarily symbolic.

"You didn't realize?" Phil asks when Clint gapes at him. 

"No. I… maybe near the end? It's not really something I've had any experience with, but I think my body may have recognized it for what it was. It explains the heat."

"I caused your heat?"

"I think so? I mean, we'd kissed just before you left to get Cap out of the ice and when you showed up at Pegasus, it came on out of the blue. I don't know any omegas who have regular heats, not unless they're mated. I haven't had to go through a heat since I was a teenager – back when my hormones were going crazy – and those were nothing compared to how it felt with you."

Phil sighs and cups the side of Clint's jaw. "I remember that the Tesseract started acting up before we could talk, but did you really think I could walk away from this after? You know me well enough to understand that taking you through a heat would not be casual for me."

"I knew that," Clint replies, eyes clouding with pain, "but then you died and I didn't know anything anymore. I could barely function outside of when the Avengers assembled. I clawed my way through because I figured that's what you'd want me to do. I went to Psych and I made friends with the others. Then you came back and I was so fucking confused."

"So you went back to Psych and they somehow convinced you that I didn't care anymore?"

"It made sense!" Clint defends, pulling away. "You were alive for months and didn't tell us."

"Fury said you understood."

"I'm a fucking SHIELD agent, of course I understand. It doesn't mean it didn't _hurt._ "

Clint stands and walks to the window with his back to Phil, his shoulders heaving as he fights to keep himself in check. Phil stands too, but keeps his distance.

"And now that you know that there's a different explanation?" Phil asks softly.

"I don't know," Clint replies with his head bowed. "If I were so important to you, why didn't you come to me despite the memory loss?"

"I…" Phil stops when he realizes that he has no answer. With all of his frustration at Clint's avoidance, he'd never considered approaching Clint directly until tonight. He'd always expected Clint to make the first step and show interest, much like he had before with his less-than-subtle flirting. The societal and biological norm in alpha-omega interactions has always been for the omega, as the more valuable gender, to be the first to initiate mating and for them to accept or reject attention from an alpha. Maybe Phil isn't as far removed from his baser instincts as he'd thought.

"I'm sorry. You're right. I should have come to you and told you everything. My only defense is that I've never been particularly brave when it comes to you, no matter how much interest you showed in me."

"I have a hard time believing that."

"It's true. I… I'm only just now realizing how antiquated my beliefs are. I'd never given much thought to gender dynamics until I met you. Then it always felt like I was teetering on an edge – unbalanced. It's not a feeling I'm accustomed to or one I particularly liked."

Even in the dim light and turned away from Phil, he can see Clint's automatic smirk. He's come up against Phil's need for control enough times for that fact to be undeniable.

"I know this may be difficult for you to believe, but I've always been cautious around you. I enjoyed our friendship and I liked _you,_ so it never seemed worth it to risk scaring you away. Most male omegas I know avoid alphas because of the conflicting instincts."

"So what changed? What made the… courting suddenly worth an attempt?"

"I actually don't remember that yet, but you know that traumatic event you mentioned?"

Clint looks over his shoulder at Phil and nods.

"My guess is that staring into the face of the Destroyer in New Mexico is what finally kicked me into pursuing you. My re-evaluating my life meant moving toward you, not away." Phil takes a step closer as Clint turns to fully face him. 

"But not Loki?" Clint asks, still hesitant, and Phil shakes his head. This answer is simple to see, even without his full memories. 

"I faced off against the Destroyer and made it through unscathed. I went up against Loki and died."

"What matters is that it didn't stick," Clint says simply and Phil is reminded that, for someone like Clint, surviving means much more than the ordeal.

"I wish I remembered courting you," Phil sighs, bitter for the first time at what Loki has cost him. "I wish I knew how you reacted even if you didn't know what I was doing. I want to know if I made you smile the first time I brought you food or gave you something precious to me."

Clint does smile then, small and a little shy, reaching into his front pocket to draw something out and Phil has to move in close to see what it is. Sitting in Clint's palm is a single dog tag, battered and aged – Phil's great grandfather's, handed down from generation to generation of Coulsons. It feels perfect and right for Clint to be holding it, while its mate sits against Phil's reanimated heart.

~

_"Clint! I'm glad I caught you. I'm headed back out to the Arctic once the director gets back from his errand."_

_Clint stifles a yawn. "Sorry. I'm short a few week's sleep. Oh! I think I must be the errand. Fury wants me out in New Mexico."_

_"Pegasus?" Phil frowns and Clint nods. "But you just got back."_

_"No rest for the weary. It's not a big deal." Clint shrugs. "Don't worry about me. Go thaw out your hero. I, uh… hope he's everything you've dreamed he'd be."_

_The uncertainty in Clint's eyes strengthens Phil's resolve and he steps forward to take the omega's hand in his. "I was hoping you'd keep something safe for me."_

_He turns Clint's hand, palm up, and gently places the old dog tag inside it. Clint looks at it and then back up at Phil. "This isn't yours."_

_"No, it's my great grandfather's. A family heirloom. I have the other tag here." Phil places his free hand against his chest with a hopeful smile._

_"Barton! Wheels up in five!" one of the ground crew calls out, but Clint doesn't move away from where he's staring wide-eyed at Phil._

_"I… what does… ?"_

_"We can talk more later when we have time, but will you take it?" Phil asks, folding Clint's fingers over the tag._

_Clint looks down at their hands and then matches Phil's hopeful smile. "Yes. Yes, I'll take it."_

_"Barton! Come on!"_

_Phil leans forward and presses his lips softly against Clint's. The kiss is simple and sweet – a promise – and it steals Phil's breath away._

_"I've got to go."_

_"I'll see you soon."_

~

"I remember," Phil smiles. "I gave it to you before you left for Pegasus. I wasn't sure if I'd lost the other half during the attack and… after. Do you wear it?"

"Every day since you gave it to me."

Phil folds Clint's fingers over the tag once again. There is no mistaking what the gift means now. "Will you keep it?"

Clint looks intently at Phil and he'd almost forgotten what it was like to be the focus of those beautiful eyes – eyes that have always seen more than most. Phil doesn't falter, doesn't look away, hoping that Clint finds whatever it is he's searching for. He wants to reassure Clint that this can work, that things haven't changed that much, but Phil stays silent. Biology or no, this has always been Clint's choice to make.

"Yes," Clint finally says after what feels like an eternity. "Yes, I'll keep it."

Phil isn't sure which one of them leans in first, but their lips meet in the middle and this kiss is far from simple. Instead, it is poignant and rich, filled with a bitter sweetness that reminds them of all they could have lost. They break apart with smiles on their faces, startling when the world outside suddenly bursts into a myriad of color. They watch as fireworks explode across the New York skyline.

"It's a new year," Clint whispers.

Phil takes the dog tag from Clint's hand and slips the chain around the omega's neck, laying his palm over where it comes to rest as Clint mirrors the action with a hand at the center of Phil's chest. They both know that the way ahead of them is still filled with uncertainty, but it really is no different than when they first made the attempt. All that matters is that what was once thought dormant and unwanted has gained a new life, a new strength.

"A time for new beginnings."

"And building new memories."

_fin_


End file.
